I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
