She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
