Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry

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(904): View more from Florida

Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you mean i was at the winter classic?

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis

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(248): View more from Michigan

Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.

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