mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
