you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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