he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
