one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
