I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
50% drunk capacity currently
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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