Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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