You work out of a Hotel?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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