I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
