Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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