$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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