I wanna passion pit in your ass
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
