1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
