Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize