whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize