Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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