Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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