Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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