Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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