Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
