the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
