I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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