She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
