just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
