You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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