Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
