so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
