worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
