booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
