i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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