it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
