her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
