dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize