i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Randomize