I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
