he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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