Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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