what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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