You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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