he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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