they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
