the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
