oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Randomize
