when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
