I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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