Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize