Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
