i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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