i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
