Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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