decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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