this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize