I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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