i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
