the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
