gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
