8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
