Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
