Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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