Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
